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Hero Worship & My Triumphant Return to the Blogosphere (please, no fanfare)

March 26, 2009

I took me a little blogging break. Okay, I took me a long, extended break. No one will ever read this anyway, but I thought I’d at least get back to writing down my silly stories, musings on my favorite topics, and other useless information. It’s all about the catharsis, baby. And I am afraid that my crap of a memory will forget all these things soon, so I might as well get them written down somewhere. As long as Al Gore doesn’t decide to take the internet back someday… then I’m in trouble.

Recently I’ve been inspired to get back to writing by my two new heroes, Pioneer Woman and Bakerella. They are, of course, oblivous to this worship as I am merely a fly on the heel of their superhero lace-up boots. But I obsess, nonetheless. Have you heard of these women?? Spectacularly gifted and sharing these gifts and talents with the little people around them.

My first hero, Pioneer Woman, essentially lives the life I was meant to live but have never found. She is equal parts snarky, silly, superfluous, sarcastic, self-depricating and stupendous. (Got that.) She loves to cook and take pictures and write. (Check.) She falls down a lot, looks terrible when she wakes up in the morning, has a healthy self image, and loves to make people guess what movie or TV show she is quoting. (Uh Huh.) She is a city girl married to a cowboy, living on a ranch with her real-life Marlboro Man and their four beautiful children. (Doh!) Okay, I’m batting 750 so far. I spent a lot of time yesterday reading her true love story, and I actually cried. She literally has everything I wish I did, minus the potty-mouth and love of wine. I am going to try and keep my dependence on her at a healthy level, but I’m not sure how long this can last. She actually has a series entitled “The Humiliation Chronicles” that document the hilarious missteps and pratfalls of her past and present. She could not be MORE of a “Bizarro Stefanie.” (name that TV show) Seriously, find me a handsome cowboy to marry and I will move to Oklahoma tonight to be your nanny, housecleaner and horse chaser. I promise it won’t be weird.

Now, onto my new queen of all things sugared and fabulous. Miss Bakerella, you have captured my heart, soul, and soon-to-be-diabetic body. She makes these little Cake Pop things that are heaven on a stick. I’ve already got ideas for making them to take to 5 different parties! She also publishes these heavenly dessert recipes, each one more ooey and gooey than the last. Honestly, I’m going to die of a sugar-induced heart attack/aneurism, but it’s a comfort to know I’ll leave happy.

Both of these ladies have developed a style for photographing their cooking/baking as they go along, which I love. I am a visual learner, kids, and this method is more than helpful. I like knowing what it’s supposed to look like so I can be aware when I’ve screwed it up! I am completely head-over-heels in love. I’m pretty sure (like 126%) that I’m not gay, but if that’s what you call it when you want to spend every waking moment with another chick, so be it.

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