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A Letter To Michelle Duggar

September 3, 2009

Dear Michelle,

Please desist with the baby-making immediately.  I want to stop working and finish my retirement in peace.  I want to be skinny again.  I don’t want to subsist on Tater-Tot Casserole the rest of my days.  And I can’t think of any more baby names starting with “J”. 

Tell Jim-Bob to keep his hands off you or I swear the next one I send out will be three-eyed and quintuple-legged. 

All the love in my heart,

Your Womb

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